Yo sé que no he estado por aquí en un tiempito, but the end of March has brought me a peace that I really love living with, and I’m excited to get back in the swing of our morning cafecitos again.

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It’s January 28th, and I’m behind schedule.

Which is okay, though, because for the first time in a long time:

I.. don’t give a fuck.

But it didn’t start that way; I actually started this year feeling pretty guilty.

A part of me truly believes that because I spent December dilly-dallying, that I fumbled the start of my 2026.

I kept th…

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Yo estoy cansadísima. Are you feeling a never-ending tiredness recently, or is it just me?

I’ve legit been hibernating. When I’m not working, I’m working out, and when I’m not working out, I’m sleeping—like A LOT!

I even had a brief moment where I was like, maybe I should get checked out?? But for now, I’m going to blame…

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I hope you’re doing well, all things considered.

It feels like everywhere we turn, the world’s on fire: mass layoffs, a government shutdown, SNAP rollbacks, violent ICE raids, etc.

Shit, even the price of cafecito is causing a great depression in my household! But of course, I’ll always have enough for you 😉

just let…

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I hope your season is a little bit more entertaining than mine, because life has honestly been pretty boring over here.

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Not boring in a bad way, te lo prometo! It’s just… stable.

Work, walk, work, sleep, repeat.

And yet there’s this tiny voice in my head that wants to stir the pot sooooo bad,

but I’m not tryna play myself…

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Today, one cafecito doesn’t feel like enough.

(I’m drinking instant Bustelo, with almond milk and hazelnut creamer, if you’re curious.)

But I’ve been trying to limit myself to just one cup a day to cut back on sugar. Tragic. I know! And before you say anything,

no, I’m not at the level of adulting where I’m about to…

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I hope you’ve been thriving and enjoying the beautiful last few weeks of summer.

Today, my cafecito is made with Bustelo instant coffee, which should give you insight into how I’m doing, haha!

Buy me a Cafecito

If I had to describe my life lately, I would say I feel like I’m standing 4ft into the ocean shore, being tossed and mangled by an incoming wave.

But here’s what brings me comfort:

1. I know that once the wave is done washing over me, I will revel in the stillness and quiet that follows, and

2. No matter how violent the turbulence is at this time, I know I’ll feel refreshed and renewed when I emerge from these waters.

Either way, as I’m wrangling this wave, I’m realizing it takes a sweet balance of surrender and control to navigate through, and it’s in moments like these where I turn to the Serenity Prayer:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

I love this verse because it gives me permission to surrender when I need to, and it also reminds me that I have more control over my life than I often give myself credit for.

It also makes me reflect a lot on power:

How much of it do we have over our lives?

How much of it do we give away to others? and

Why?

These questions didn’t even begin to tug at me until I saw how much power other people hold over my greatest mirror:

my mother.

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Two days after her birthday, my mother and Abuela had an ugly disagreement. Mami hung up the phone feeling defeated, her self-worth shattered as she broke down in tears.

Once again, I saw the pattern repeat: the person Mami seeks validation from the most continuously refuses to give it to her.

And honestly, for a certain portion of my life, both Mami and Abuela held this sort of power over me.

I wanted so badly to fit into their image of perfection that I shamed and hid parts of myself that didn’t align with their personal and cultural values.

I’ve been called a malcriada more times in my life than I can count.

*Malcriada, meaning “improperly raised,” which I always thought was an ironic insult.

And today, though I’ve shed the hold of their opinions on me and shifted to living life on my own terms, their words, judgments, and even their pride still have a subtle power over me.

There are things I still do simply because I know it brings them happiness and peace.

But why?

Why do they continue to have that power over me? and Why does my Abuela continue to have that power over my mother, too?

Funny enough, I found my answer at the gym.

My gym makes it a practice to assign each of us a book to read, and I was given Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, who is also the author of The Four Agreements, if you are familiar.

Don Miguel emphasizes that our truest Self exists while we are toddlers, and we sacrifice parts of our truest Self as we grow and come into conversation with the world, its standards, and expectations.

We eventually learn that there is an image of perfection to strive towards, whether it’s what our parents, community, or society tells us is perfect, and there are consequences to not rising to this standard.

Where the tension lies is this:

the moment our truest Self and our quest for perfection come into conflict, we start to feel like maybe we shouldn’t do that thing we enjoy because it doesn’t fit the image of perfection that has been prescribed to us.

And we learn to feel shame.

Now, if you’re self-aware and badass enough, you’ll realize the standards of perfection we’ve learned through rules and laws are made up.

Someone, somewhere, at some point made all this shit up. Just like 55 men showed up somewhere in Philly in the 1700s and just made up the Constitution.

Like, who told them they could do that? Haha.

And yet look at us, centuries later, still abiding by it.

My point is,

knowing how arbitrary perfection is in our world, you can begin to discern whether the values and standards you grew up with are the values and standards you genuinely align with and still want to live by.

If you’re good at this discernment game, getting in touch with your truest Self—or more popularly referred to as “your inner child”— is the first step in removing any shame you’ve associated with being authentically yourself, especially when you don’t fit into the mold of perfection you grew up with.

Pero,

if that mold has a strong hold on you, then it’s likely you still carry much of that shame.

Internally, you beat yourself up because of it.

And outwardly, you’re more willing to let other people beat you up because of it, too.

Don Miguel says:

“If you have an abusive relationship, it is because you accept that abuse

because you believe you deserve it…

The limit of your self-abuse is the limit you will tolerate from other people. If someone abuses you more than you abuse yourself, you walk away, you run, you escape.

But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, perhaps you stay longer…

that is the way [you] punish [yourself].”

Buy the Book

There are people who get well into their adulthood, like Mami, still carrying that shame and punishment, and allowing it to overshadow their truest Self expression + the ability to live life fully.

After their call, Mami swore to distance herself from her mother. She cried, made herself three cafecitos, and drank them all, staring into deep nothingness.

When she finally spoke, she said she was sick of being treated like the black sheep. She wouldn’t allow it anymore. She was done.

Finally done.

Would you believe that?

I did, and I was so proud of her.

I thought my mom was finally ready to put her foot down and step out from under Abuela’s cloud of judgment…

but I was wrong.

They are back where they started.

And even though I wish Mami had the cojones to take her power back, I have to be grateful that at least I do.

Even as I’m standing

4ft into the ocean shore

being tossed and mangled

by a roaring wave,

here’s what also brings me comfort:

1. I feel confident in learning to free myself of shame and self-abuse so I can live in my truest Self expression, and

2. I feel confident in learning to reclaim my power from people whose opinions and judgments (whether good or bad) I’ve let control me.

I don’t want to fit in anyone’s mold (a lot of people would say I already do a good job at that, haha!), and I don’t want to be anyone else’s definition of perfect but my own.

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It’s hard, though, baddie.

Because the people who hold the most power over us are often people we love (down!) and whose approval and happiness could mean the world to us. Also, to an extent, their standards of perfection have made us better people.

But it’s important to realize when it’s coming at a cost.

Whether it’s affecting your mental health, causing you to live in fear or on eggshells, or limiting your truest Self expression, it’s worth analyzing how much power you’re giving other people over your life.

My only wish as you go into the week is that you try and answer me this:

Who controls you?

Why do you let them? and

Is their power over you harming more than it’s helping?

From there, we can start doing the work to get free.

Pa’lante.

Con cariño y mucho mucho mucho amor,

Coral

P.S. You can officially pull me for a chat!

If something in this love letter made you reflect or you just want to talk to a baddie, let’s do it! I’m opening up 30-minute virtual cafecitos just for you all.

Use the link below to find a date that works for you. 👇🏽

Book a Cafecito con Coral

As someone who is all about honoring your self-worth and sacredness, I have to say Love Island is breaking my heart.

If you know me, you know reality tv is not usually my cup of tea… but my man loves it, and so here I am, thirty-something episodes deep into this season, and I’m hooked.

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Seeing what these beautiful women in the villa are going through, I couldn't help but sit back as I’m drinking my cafecito this morning and think damn… free the baddies for real!

Baddies are so deserving of more than we are given, and this show is putting that on display for the whole world to see.

So it made me think, if I could pull my favorite baddies for a chat (or even better, a cafecito), here is what I would say:

My Queen Baddie, Olandria:

Oh, the woman that you are!!! Your poise, elegance, and directness are incredible to watch. You carry yourself with so much respect and grace.

So, let me put my hand on yours when I say this: it was so heartbreaking to see you begging for someone's love who, so very clearly, was not willing or ready to give it to you.

I completely understand you because I've been there before, and I know that when you commit your heart to someone, it can be difficult to leave, mainly because it took so much vulnerability and openness on your part to get to that point. So when it comes time to let go, I don’t want to undermine how challenging it feels, even when you’re not being treated with the respect and care you deserve.

I admire you for being strong, but I wish softness on you.

As hard as it is, when it comes time to move on because someone isn’t capable of treating you with love and compassion, I want you to remember the people who love and adore you, and most importantly, I want you to remember the love you have for yourself. Use that as your fuel to know and feel confident in walking away the first time.

You are so strong and so powerful, anyone would be lucky to have you by their side. I can't wait for you to start acting like it.

My Sweet Dominican Princess Baddie, Amaya:

No te voy a mentir, mi hermana, I wasn't sure if we were going to get along at first because I'm a very mellow baddie, and so much of your emotions and reactions were a lot for me to take in.

But over time, after getting a chance to know you, I’ve grown to love you so much. You are such a sweet, caring, beautiful person, and I find your authenticity so refreshing.

And yet, most of the people you have opened your heart to throughout this season have turned you away or made you feel ashamed of your much-ness.

And so, this is my advice to you, my dulce Amaya Papaya: allow people to earn you. Allow them to earn the level of sweetness and openness you so kindly offer us. I say this not to limit who you are or put you in a box; instead, I say this to protect you.

As a person who wears their heart on their sleeve, I completely understand you. Trust me! Because, whether platonic or romantic, and even to strangers on the street, I stay ready to give out my love.

But the one thing I’ve learned the hard way is that we need to have boundaries to protect the love we want to give so freely. And it's not to tone down who we are, it's simply to make sure that we give ourselves to the right people—the people that are deserving of our sweetness, our love, and our tenderness.

So when I ask you to take a step back and reel it in juuuust a little bit, I'm not saying this to dim your light. I simply know that the people who are worthy of you will make space for the grandiosa person that you are.

And all I will say is this: the people who are meant for you will welcome you to be all that you are y más.

My Mellow Dutchess Baddie, Chelley:

I can't say that I feel like we've gotten to know each other a lot, but from what I have seen, I can tell that we would be great friends. I appreciate your lightheartedness, your ability to have fun, and to go with the flow.

I have noticed, though, that when things turn sour, your walls go all the way up. And I get it.

I'm an easy-going girl. I love fun, I love being silly, but when someone has hurt my feelings or made me upset, I get super emotional too. And it's hard, once you're at that point, to forgive or look past it because you’ve probably given it so many chances to roll off your back. It takes a lot to hurt the feelings of someone who is so chill and understanding.

And in those moments, Chelley, I encourage you to take some time to sit with how you're feeling, understand exactly what hurt you, and the reasons why you may be internalizing the situation.

It's our responsibility as we're developing our self-awareness to understand where our triggers come from, why certain things feel heavier than others, and where we might be projecting our pain and previous trauma onto the present matter.

This type of reflection is meant to create space for 1) understanding ourselves more deeply and 2) holding the other person accountable for their actions in a way that focuses on their actual wrongdoings rather than the emotions and traumas we may be attributing to the situation.

Once you've mastered this, I believe any challenge or hurtful encounter you experience in the future will have less of a hold on you and your joy, and will allow you to communicate and stand up for yourself with a grace and directness that is reflective of the baddie you are.

While I wish I had the opportunity to share these love letters with Olandria, Amaya, and Chelley, I am even happier to share these sentiments with you.

This show has resonated so deeply because I see parts of myself, and the baddies I love, in these women. So, as a call to action for all of us: before we pass judgment on other women, approach them with grace first.

We know too well what it means to have faced hardships and challenges that have shaped the ways in which we act and react.

As we collectively watch and enjoy the absolute mess happening in that villa, remember that these are baddies just like you: flawed and imperfect (which is honestly what makes it great TV, haha!).

Be kind and graceful to them online, and open your arms to the baddies around you who are trying their best, who sometimes just need a little bit of support to put their crowns back on straight.

Deal?

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Con cariño y mucho mucho mucho amor,

Coral

P.S. L-O-V-E, Sittin in a tree, Gold chain and black tee—Nicolandria in 3!!! 🙏🏽

Wait… that was aggressive haha.

Hola baddies, today’s cafecito has been a long time coming, but between drama with my former landlady, work beating my ass, and moving to Mexico for a month, ya girl has been BU-SY! And I’ve also been LI-VING, which is the best part of it all.

From lounging under cherry blossom trees, raving in a …

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If you’re anything like me, this eclipseapocolyptograde season is cooking you. I’ve been feeling sooooo exhausted, I could sleep for 100 days (and I probably would if it weren’t for, you know, capitalism).

But today, I woke up early to make sure we could have our cafecito because I have to remind you to get a fuckin grip…

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(and I have a likkle surprise for you at the end of this letter)

As I’m sitting here at LaGuardia Airport waiting on a standby flight to Savannah, Georgia, with a cafecito at my side, I’m consumed with the feeling of serenity.

An anniversary…

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If you’re looking at the date and realizing it’s not a Monday, well… I’ll just ask you to forgive me.

This year, I’m choosing to move with intention over speed. I want each time we get together to be meaningful, not rushed. Between work and traveling to Atlanta last week, I just wasn’t ready to sit for cafecito Monday morning. 

Either way, I’ve missed you, and I want to know, ¿Cómo estás, beloved? 

I’m well and am having an action-packed February. I’ve been up, down, all around, and I love it! But I have to tell you what’s been on my mind, chile, because I need your opinion on this. To tell you all you need to know upfront, I didn’t even make cafecito for this one; I’m sippin' on a whiskey espresso martini—haha!

Oye, before you say anything, we listen, and we don’t judge!

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So boom,

I was at a bar with a friend, and it had been a while since we last clinked glasses, so I felt the need to catch her up on the sitcom that is my life. 2025 has been treating me so kindly, so naturally, I’m raving: life is great, moving with intention, traveling, socializing, loving freely, blah blah blah.

What shook me to the core, though, was once I finished, guess what she said?

She said,

“Wooooow, I’m so jealous…

but I’m happy for you!”

and I was a little taken aback by that.

I didn’t know how to feel about it. The words “I’m jealous” kept rattling between my eardrums, and suddenly, I was unsettled. I felt unease swirl up in my stomach, mixing with the whiskey sour I had just inhaled. My spirit, once so high, was brought back to earth with the quickness.

Even though I know a lot of girls use “I’m jealous” without malicious intent, I am always weary of the power of words (regular writer shit), and honestly, I was a little bit scared—did I just open myself up to mal de ojo? 🧿

I knew immediately I had to shut the fuck up.

But before I even got the chance to properly digest this interaction,

it happened again.

A week later, I mentioned an upcoming trip in conversation with a different friend, and she said,

“Jealous, that sounds like fun!”

… umm?

I began to ruminate, thinking: what the fuck is happening right now??? why is this word/phrase coming up around me so much??? should I be scared, my Shaylaaaaaaa?!

Mal de ojo doesn’t need malicious intent to activate. Someone can envy you without meaning any harm, and that energy can still cause you to experience a stream of bad luck.

In true Libra moon fashion, I needed a second, third, and fourth opinion, so I decided to confer with the experts: my homegirls. I started asking each of them what they thought about the phrase, “I’m jealous.”

One of my friends, who I recently visited in Atlanta, assured me it was just a common colloquialism that girls use; it has no malice behind it.

I don’t think I liked this answer.

I asked if she’d ever felt that when someone said, “I’m jealous,” they were actually jealous, and she confirmed that she hadn’t experienced that nor felt any type of way about the phrase. She didn’t think that when other women said, “I’m jealous,” they meant it.

Now, my sister-friend, who I talk to every day, told me it depends on the person’s self-awareness, and I think I agree—to an extent.

I have had moments of jealousy. In the past, I was jealous of a lover who was with someone else. I desired a position in that lover’s life that I didn’t have, and I was self-aware about my jealousy. I let myself feel it, took time to understand where it was coming from, and I (deep breath) let it go.

So when my sister-friend said it’s all about self-awareness, I knew, from experience, exactly what she was talking about.

The tension I have with that conclusion is pretty simple:

the majority of people are not self-aware.

And without this self-awareness, if you feel jealous or envious, how can you clock it? can you still wish someone the best because you love them? or do you secretly, or unknowingly, pray on their downfall?

Having been on the receiving end of mal de ojo in 2022, I know all too well the process of cleansing and performing rituals to rid myself of that energy, and I truly, en verdad don’t ever want to experience that again. Everything felt so off—it was like Lemony Snicket was writing my personalized series of unfortunate events.

I kept asking God, “What is happening? what did I do to deserve these misfortunes back to back? and who has it out for me?”

I soon learned it was someone very close to me. Jealousy is a powerful and potentially dangerous energy, especially when it’s wielded with ill intentions, which people can often be unaware of harboring.

Okay okay okay,

hold up.

Let’s recenter because now I’m sounding paranoid, haha! Even with this experience, I don’t think the emotion of jealousy should be completely written off, even though I have experienced its harm.

Jealousy can also be motivating. It can spark creativity or a newfound passion. When you want something someone else has—and you don’t allow it to cloud your judgment of that person—jealousy can force you to act intently to achieve or create. It can put the batteries in your back to start that project, to put in those extra hours, to start betting on yourself! But, jealousy has to be harnessed in a way that is productive and wishes no harm to the person on the receiving end.

Before I conferred with my homegirls, my original intent for this conversation was to call for the death of the phrase, “I’m jealous,” and honestly,

that’s still how I feel—haha!

But after talking to them and gaining perspective, I want to offer jealousy grace. And I want to be careful not to treat it as an absolute.

When we feel jealousy, it’s important to examine the parts of ourselves that are coming to the surface:

what do you realize you are lacking? how can you nurture the parts of yourself that are being exposed so you can be at peace with who you are and what you have? where in your life can you practice more gratitude and become acquainted with your own abundance?

how, then, can you start to release jealousy and (deep breath) let it go?

Once you no longer want someone to win because they have something that you don’t, the shit gets scary—for both you and them.

Most people think you need some magic/sorcery to curse someone with mal de ojo or to prompt misfortune in their lives, and I promise you, oftentimes, cursing someone can be as easy as not wishing them well or feeling glum when you are met with their accomplishments.

The energy of jealousy is sooooo powerful, friend.

So before we go, I beg of you: if you love who you are jealous of, keep your feelings in check. Make sure your intentions are pure and verify that your jealousy solely stems from a place of being proud and inspired. If not, do the inner work to be at peace with yourself so that you can share in the joys of others authentically.

And please,

stop fuckin saying, “I’m jealous.”

🧿

Con cariño y mucho mucho mucho amor,

Coral

P.S. This love letter was brought to life with loving feedback and help from my sister-friend, Selena Maldonado.

I’m having a bit of a late start to the day, so forgive me.

Superbowl weekend wiped me out so much that I spent Monday taking naps between meetings—haha! But I’m happy the Eagles won. This win, the Grammys, and the way #FreetheBaddies is thriving are making it a beautiful Black History Month.

What’s even better is tha…

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I have your cafecito on the stove-top, it should just be a second. After talking so much shit about the french press, I’m actually loving it these days haha!

Pero bueno, it’s been a wild two weeks since we last sat down for our cafecito. The last seven days have felt especially infinte with the talking orange in off…

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I know the last time we had cafecito together was mid-September, and I fully intended to invite you over for another one before the year’s end.

But before October could even get its feet on the ground, I was shaken awake to the news that my uncle’s apartment building was on fire.

We didn’t know who was hurt. We d…

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How are you? What cafecito are you drinking?

I’m trying to hold off on the fall flavors until October… but I might fall victim to some pumpkin cold foam soon. In the meantime, some french pressed Bustelo and I are getting along just fine.

I hope you’re taking care of yourself.

It feels like once pumpkin spice got back in the mix, so …

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I’ve been taking some time to dream + expand + have FUN this summer (as you may have noticed), and I gave myself permission to only come back to this space, to you, when I felt good and ready.

I so appreciate your patience with me.

Bueno, vamos!

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First, happy Pride month to all the gays, they’s, and baes! 

Second, I’m so glad you’re here por que there is someone special I would love for you to meet. You know I love being a connector, so I invited my dear friend Abida to join us for cafecito this morning.

I met Abida about three years ago when I moved to St. Louis. F…

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#FreeTheBaddies on a Tuesday feels odd, but I wanted to fully embrace the long weekend. After all, I can’t hop up in here and talk about honoring Self and not exemplify it!

I took the Monday off to shop at TJMaxx, pour some compost over my new garden babies, and make some bacon-wrapped shrimp for my bestie + fam. It was suc…

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Let me get this cafecito started.

I haven’t even brewed it yet because, deadass, I had to have a serious talk with myself.

Let me tell you all about it.

So boom, mercury retrograde came and flung me into what felt like the heat of the sun, revealing through serendipitous moments (like meeting my favorite author! ah!) th…

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