It's not about you, babe.

Stop thinking of things as happening to you. It’s not about you. Think of things as energetic reactions of the universe. -- Miss Renée

Buenos dias, beloved.

I tried to brew my cafesito this morning, but in true Mercury Retrograde fashion, the Nespresso was giving No-espresso. Ha! We have to take it in stride this month, love. Everybody and their moms is about to start wildin… if they haven’t already. So, sientate cause I seeped some tea instead and I’m bout to spill it!

First, though, as you work to live in your sacredness, grounded in your immense value, I’m always praying that your village supports you in doing so wholeheartedly. The road to self-worth is best traveled with a village that uplifts and loves you deeply.

However comma

there does come a time in our lives (and trust me, baddie, I know too well) when someone does us dirtier than 3-day-old snow slush in NYC, and we begin to ask ourselves questions like “What did I do to deserve that?” or “Why are they treating me this way?” and even the worst of them all—“What is wrong with me?”

Now, of course, gut-check with yourself first because sometimes we do get un poquitito out of line, and Karma will show her ass out on us if we did someone dirty, as she does!

BUT, when you know you’re doing your absolute best and showing up as your favorite version of yourself, another person’s disregard can make you feel

so. damn. small.

When this happens, beloved, it is not a reflection of you. How someone decides to treat you is not a testament to your worthiness, nor is it an indication that something is wrong with you. Their opinions and actions live outside of you and should not be allowed to build a home within you.

Meet that shit at the doorstep and return to sender!

(or, call me ‘cause I will fight over my baddie friends!!)

But for real though, I first learned to embrace this when I received an astrological reading in June 2023, and Miss Renée (goodness bless her) warned me,

“Stop thinking of things as happening to you. It’s not about you. Think of things as energetic reactions of the universe. More often than not, what people do to you is not about you.”

Talk about getting me all the way together, chile. I was like, “But what do you meaaaannnn it’s not about me?!” Well, with time, I’ve come to answer my own question.

Some people cannot handle you sacredly when they have not honored their own sacredness. We have to see ourselves and how people treat us as two separate things.

oof!

Honoring yourself in moments like this comes down to having control over your response. I recommend it go something like this:

• Reject internalizing it: Note to self—“This action/opinion is not a reflection of who I am or what I’m worth.”

  • Their actions could be a reflection of something you did, but they are not a reflection of who you are. Major key.

• Address it: Note to sender—“What you said/did made me feel X, Y, and Z, and I did not deserve that.”

  • Period! and you better stand on business.

• Draw the line: Establish how you both will need to move forward to engage in a healthy relationship—if you want to move forward at all.

  • I know a MF only has three strikes with me!! lol, but do you boo.

All I’m trying to say, beloved, is how you view and treat yourself in these moments matters. You are not small—far from it. You are meant to be handled with care and cariño, so never play about you! I know I don’t.

Bueno, that’s that on that, and you know, the thing about spilling tea is that shit really ends up all over the floor. Ha! Let me get to cleaning.

I’ve truly enjoyed your company. Feel free to stay and chat with me.

Esta es tu casa!

I’d love to hear what you have to share, and despite how difficult it may be to show up for yourself in this way, I just want you to know

I’ll always hold your hand if you want me to.

Pa’lante!

Mercury in Gatorade can’t take you boo. I’ve seen you fight.

Con cariño y mucho mucho mucho amor,

Coral

P.S. If you fuck with me…