Please, don't be jealous.

"No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow." - Alice Walker

Hola mis amores! Buenos dias!

If you’re looking at the date and realizing it’s not a Monday, well… I’ll just ask you to forgive me.

This year, I’m choosing to move with intention over speed. I want each time we get together to be meaningful, not rushed. Between work and traveling to Atlanta last week, I just wasn’t ready to sit for cafecito Monday morning. 

Either way, I’ve missed you, and I want to know, ¿Cómo estás, beloved? 

I’m well and am having an action-packed February. I’ve been up, down, all around, and I love it! But I have to tell you what’s been on my mind, chile, because I need your opinion on this. To tell you all you need to know upfront, I didn’t even make cafecito for this one; I’m sippin' on a whiskey espresso martini—haha!

Oye, before you say anything, we listen, and we don’t judge!

So boom,

I was at a bar with a friend, and it had been a while since we last clinked glasses, so I felt the need to catch her up on the sitcom that is my life. 2025 has been treating me so kindly, so naturally, I’m raving: life is great, moving with intention, traveling, socializing, loving freely, blah blah blah.

What shook me to the core, though, was once I finished, guess what she said?

She said,

“Wooooow, I’m so jealous…

but I’m happy for you!”

and I was a little taken aback by that.

I didn’t know how to feel about it. The words “I’m jealous” kept rattling between my eardrums, and suddenly, I was unsettled. I felt unease swirl up in my stomach, mixing with the whiskey sour I had just inhaled. My spirit, once so high, was brought back to earth with the quickness.

Even though I know a lot of girls use “I’m jealous” without malicious intent, I am always weary of the power of words (regular writer shit), and honestly, I was a little bit scared—did I just open myself up to mal de ojo? 🧿

I knew immediately I had to shut the fuck up.

But before I even got the chance to properly digest this interaction,

it happened again.

A week later, I mentioned an upcoming trip in conversation with a different friend, and she said,

“Jealous, that sounds like fun!”

… umm?

I began to ruminate, thinking: what the fuck is happening right now??? why is this word/phrase coming up around me so much??? should I be scared, my Shaylaaaaaaa?!

Mal de ojo doesn’t need malicious intent to activate. Someone can envy you without meaning any harm, and that energy can still cause you to experience a stream of bad luck.

In true Libra moon fashion, I needed a second, third, and fourth opinion, so I decided to confer with the experts: my homegirls. I started asking each of them what they thought about the phrase, “I’m jealous.”

One of my friends, who I recently visited in Atlanta, assured me it was just a common colloquialism that girls use; it has no malice behind it.

I don’t think I liked this answer.

I asked if she’d ever felt that when someone said, “I’m jealous,” they were actually jealous, and she confirmed that she hadn’t experienced that nor felt any type of way about the phrase. She didn’t think that when other women said, “I’m jealous,” they meant it.

Now, my sister-friend, who I talk to every day, told me it depends on the person’s self-awareness, and I think I agree—to an extent.

I have had moments of jealousy. In the past, I was jealous of a lover who was with someone else. I desired a position in that lover’s life that I didn’t have, and I was self-aware about my jealousy. I let myself feel it, took time to understand where it was coming from, and I (deep breath) let it go.

So when my sister-friend said it’s all about self-awareness, I knew, from experience, exactly what she was talking about.

The tension I have with that conclusion is pretty simple:

the majority of people are not self-aware.

And without this self-awareness, if you feel jealous or envious, how can you clock it? can you still wish someone the best because you love them? or do you secretly, or unknowingly, pray on their downfall?

Having been on the receiving end of mal de ojo in 2022, I know all too well the process of cleansing and performing rituals to rid myself of that energy, and I truly, en verdad don’t ever want to experience that again. Everything felt so off—it was like Lemony Snicket was writing my personalized series of unfortunate events.

I kept asking God, “What is happening? what did I do to deserve these misfortunes back to back? and who has it out for me?”

I soon learned it was someone very close to me. Jealousy is a powerful and potentially dangerous energy, especially when it’s wielded with ill intentions, which people can often be unaware of harboring.

Okay okay okay,

hold up.

Let’s recenter because now I’m sounding paranoid, haha! Even with this experience, I don’t think the emotion of jealousy should be completely written off, even though I have experienced its harm.

Jealousy can also be motivating. It can spark creativity or a newfound passion. When you want something someone else has—and you don’t allow it to cloud your judgment of that person—jealousy can force you to act intently to achieve or create. It can put the batteries in your back to start that project, to put in those extra hours, to start betting on yourself! But, jealousy has to be harnessed in a way that is productive and wishes no harm to the person on the receiving end.

Before I conferred with my homegirls, my original intent for this conversation was to call for the death of the phrase, “I’m jealous,” and honestly,

that’s still how I feel—haha!

But after talking to them and gaining perspective, I want to offer jealousy grace. And I want to be careful not to treat it as an absolute.

When we feel jealousy, it’s important to examine the parts of ourselves that are coming to the surface:

what do you realize you are lacking? how can you nurture the parts of yourself that are being exposed so you can be at peace with who you are and what you have? where in your life can you practice more gratitude and become acquainted with your own abundance?

how, then, can you start to release jealousy and (deep breath) let it go?

Once you no longer want someone to win because they have something that you don’t, the shit gets scary—for both you and them.

Most people think you need some magic/sorcery to curse someone with mal de ojo or to prompt misfortune in their lives, and I promise you, oftentimes, cursing someone can be as easy as not wishing them well or feeling glum when you are met with their accomplishments.

The energy of jealousy is sooooo powerful, friend.

So before we go, I beg of you: if you love who you are jealous of, keep your feelings in check. Make sure your intentions are pure and verify that your jealousy solely stems from a place of being proud and inspired. If not, do the inner work to be at peace with yourself so that you can share in the joys of others authentically.

And please,

stop fuckin saying, “I’m jealous.”

🧿

Con cariño y mucho mucho mucho amor,

Coral

P.S. This love letter was brought to life with loving feedback and help from my sister-friend, Selena Maldonado.